can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
