This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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