and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I'm gonna have a badass scar
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Randomize
