Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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