Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
