you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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