A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
