i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
