I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
