Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
being pregnant is like rehab
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
