Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
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