Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
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