Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
