If i come over, it means nothing
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
