you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Randomize
