kristin has been a bad kristin
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
