We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
don't judge my taste in strippers
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Randomize
