Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
