There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
