you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
