went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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