You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
And then the night went full on bisexual.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Randomize
