Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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