Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
