so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
