And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
