dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Randomize
