you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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