How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
