I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
