The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
