So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
