I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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