My boss' voice literally gives me gas
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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