I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
he had hair everywhere except his balls
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
