well you can't waste a boner
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
third nipple confirmed
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
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