Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Randomize
