your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
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