I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
