if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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