My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
