Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
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