im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
