I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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