You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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