i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
