Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
