Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
