Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
