it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
porn star boner night. come get it.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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