Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
